so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
