as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
