I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
