Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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