I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
