i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I showed him my bush... on skype.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
time to smoke my breakfast
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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