Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
