Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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