When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
