chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
