I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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