It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
