i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
