Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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