you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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