people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
