With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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