i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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