She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
