Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
