just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
