was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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