True but thats because hes a fetus.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
NoShamevember. You game?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
