You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
