I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
