margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
