i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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