I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
