i just wanna soil my oats bro
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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