Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
