Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think i have two assholes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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