i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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