You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
