I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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