Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
do herpes really smell.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
