in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
