We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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