I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When are your genitals available?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize