No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
