and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
