Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
