Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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