im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
