Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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