I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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