It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
