Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
