Christians are straight up FREAKS
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
