New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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