Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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