Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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