Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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