I think I died a long time ago.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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