Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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