There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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