mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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