I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
