he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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