yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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