I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
