There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
