and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I miss vodka workout Fridays
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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